Last Man Standing Dude Humor For Nobody

To me, the series premiere of ABC’s new, Tim Allen-led sitcom Last Man Standing seemed simply annoying, what with its low-brow and overly testosterone-fueled humor. Macho jokes about what it means to be a man? Simply not my cup of tea, I thought. I was going to turn it off a few minutes in, but I kept watching half-heartedly until the show’s lead character Mike — played by Allen — uttered a “joke” somewhere near the end of the first half hour. And that’s when I lost it.

Let me set up the “joke” for you: During a conversation about his grandson’s daycare, Mike Baxter (Allen) laments that his daughter’s choice of schools is “hippie-hippie rainbow.” Fine, sure, it’s a stupid comment, but it gets worse. Mike’s daughter Kristin (Alexandra Krosney) explains to her dad that the teacher at this school “teaches sensitivity and tolerance.” Then comes Allen’s seemingly homophobic bomb: “I just don’t think your kid should go to that school,” his character Mike says, filled with disdain. “You know how that ends up: Boyd dancing on a float.”

I’ll reiterate the offensive part: “You know how that ends up: Boyd dancing on a float,” said with total disgust, as if a boy dancing on a parade float is an unacceptable, bad thing. My response: Huh? How is a boy dancing on a parade float anything but a joyful thing?

It’s hard not to look at this as a blatantly homophobic jab at gay pride parades, a rite of passage for the LGBT community during the summer months, when we celebrate being out and proud and rally for the same civil rights that everyone else has. (It’s true: We’re still second-class citizens in many ways, but this is not the time or place for that discussion.)

And, also, yes, in reference to the specifics from the “joke”: This is also a time when people — boys, girls, and all of those in between — tend to dance on floats in big ol’ gay parades, loaded with feather boas, sequins, and all other types of ridiculous decoration. Fortunately or unfortunately for us, it’s an image you’re likely familiar with. And, what can I say in defense of that? It happens. I’m not here to debate the merits of such activities. I’m here to defend such activities being denigrated by a mainstream comedian. I’m sorry Tim Allen, but the gay community — and our pride parades — are not your punching bag. What would be so wrong if little Boyd grew up, put on a Speedo, and danced on a float in a gay pride parade?